


Be Still my Foolish Heart

by aomugetsu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou-centric, Bokuaka - Freeform, Bokuto Koutarou Being Bokuto Koutarou, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Song: Almost (Sweet Music) (Hozier), Title from a Hozier Song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:00:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24915766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aomugetsu/pseuds/aomugetsu
Summary: in which akaashi understands that, while bokuto might not be the brightest, he’s definitely not dense.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 7
Kudos: 94





	Be Still my Foolish Heart

bokuto kōtarō is definitely not the smartest person you’ll meet.

he only scored a 16 on his last english test.  
he’s embarrassed to have failed mathematics, again.  
he has trouble getting some of the jokes his teammates make.  
he has to ask if he uses complicated words correctly in a sentence.  
sometimes he doesn’t understand why his friends all laugh at the questions he asks, but he always laughs along cause he wants them to think he did it on purpose.

however, bokuto kōtarō is definitely not dense.

he seems very carefree with his talkative and boisterous personality – and let’s be honest, he often is – but he’s actually quite observant.  
he notices the slight and almost imperceptible changes in his friends’ facial expressions.  
he can easily tell the difference between a genuine and a fake smile.  
he’s not a man of many words but he somehow always knows what to say to comfort his loved ones.  
and while they may not be the most elegant, they’re still the right ones.

in terms of emotional intelligence, bokuto kōtarō is what you could call a natural genius.

akaashi keiji considered himself pretty good at hiding his feelings. 

it’s not like he’s emotionally closed off, but he’s not exactly a very outspoken person either. he tends to ramble in his head a lot about each and every little thing that crosses his mind, until he realizes he can’t afford to actually say it out loud. it’s quite often that he needs to tell himself to stop thinking or else he’ll go into a frenzy and won’t be able to put an end to this overflowing negativity or that irrepressible smile that’s taking over him. and yet, he’s almost always able to keep up that icy facade of his – like he’s constantly in control, like he’ll get over anything in the blink of an eye.

and akaashi keiji knows bokuto. like, really knows him. 

he knows him, as in he’s memorized a number of weaknesses the young man suffers from and is able to counter each and every one of them. he knows him, as in he’s never angry that he needs to wait for him a little in front of his class before lunch because bokuto always gets distracted talking to his classmates on his way out. he knows him, as in he’s capable of getting the best out of him in every volleyball game they play together. he knows him, as in he remembers exactly how he likes his meat grilled during barbecues, to the point where bokuto only ever asks his setter to get some for him when he’s lazy because « akaashi knows best ».

akaashi knows bokuto, as in he loves him with every beat of his heart.  
and as usual, he’s confident he’s doing an amazing job at hiding it. 

sure, sometimes he can’t control the way his eyes sparkle when he watches bokuto’s ethereal figure floating mid-air as he spikes the ball he set for him during a game. sure, sometimes he can’t suppress the fond smile that tugs at his lips when bokuto yells his name upon setting eyes on him in the school’s corridors. sure, sometimes he can’t help but linger in his embrace when the ace wraps his arm around his shoulders and pulls him flush against his chest. and sure he had to control himself harder than ever for him not to kiss bokuto right then and there when he comforted him after their game against mujinazaka.

but bokuto kōtarō wasn’t one for noticing such subtle actions, right ?

right ?

then why is he standing there, barely a step away from akaashi with the most serious expression the second year has ever seen on him, as he’s supposed to bid him farewell on his last day of high school ?

« bokuto-san... is something wrong ? »

and bokuto doesn’t answer, he just keeps his golden eyes fixated on him, not moving even a single muscle in his face.  
is that a new weakness – no scratch that – a whole new side of bokuto that akaashi’s uncovering ?

bokuto’s voice comes out in a low-pitched tone that akaashi almost doesn’t recognize.

« you like me, don’t you ? »

and akaashi freezes.  
he doesn’t know if he has it in him to deny these unyielding feelings he’s been keeping under wraps all this time. he doesn’t know if he’s capable of playing it off cool so that bokuto will leave it at that. he doesn’t know if his facade, that mask he forces himself to wear most days, won’t fail him this time.

but mostly, he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to take the inevitable rejection that’s to come if he comes clean to the man he loves.

and so that’s what he settles on. not confessing to him, that is.

and for the first time since he met bokuto, akaashi feels like he’s out of synch. like the last ball he’d ever get to toss to his precious ace had failed to reach him.

« this isn’t funny, bokuto-san. i don’t want those to be the last words you say to me before leaving high school. »

but as stated before : bokuto kōtarō is anything but dense.

he notices the slight tremble of akaashi’s bottom lip as he finishes his sentence.  
he notices the glint in akaashi’s eyes when the words « you like me » fell from his tongue.  
he notices the way akaashi’s slender fingers tangle and twist around each other.  
he notices the tint of vermillion red that creeps up akaashi’s neck, cheeks and ears.  
he notices the single drop of sweat making its way down akaashi’s temple, as the light summer breeze makes his hair fly around his face.

because if he’s being honest, bokuto has always noticed each and every one of akaashi’s mannerisms.  
they’ve always stood out more in his eyes.

« answering your senpai’s question is the least you could do to show him your gratitude though, akaashi. »

bokuto’s always been one to feed off the attention everyone gives him.  
he loves receiving his teammates approval,  
he loves getting his praises sung about by juniors like hinata shoyo,  
he loves hearing the crowd cheer for him and loves feeling everyone’s gazes upon him.

he thrives off the rush of adrenaline he gets from these particular events.

but in that precise moment, bokuto swears he could give it all up, deny his very nature, if it only meant that akaashi would keep looking at him like that until his dying breath.

« i guess i do owe you that much, right ? well if you must know... the answer’s yes. yes i do like you, bokuto-san. »

and this time, akaashi doesn’t suppress the smile, doesn’t suppress the sparkle, doesn’t suppress that unbearable need to bask in bokuto’s presence, and only barely suppresses the urge to kiss him. 

he’s on the verge of crying from fear and bursting with love, all at once.

he lets out a shaky breath as bokuto’s face relaxes in one of these familiar sheepish and blinding smiles of his.

« i’m happy to know i did interpret this right. »  
« and so... what are you gonna do about these feelings of mine ? »

bokuto slowly slithers his right arm around akaashi’s waist – pulling him that much closer to his pounding heart – his left hand coming up to rest against the nape of akaashi’s neck.

bokuto’s always been warm, akaashi noticed that much everytime the senior took him and his teammates in his arms.  
but he could swear bokuto’s embrace has never been as warm as it is now, pulling akaashi along in his fire as he presses his lips slowly on the setter’s forehead.

« well, i think it’d be the right time to tell you how much i like you too. »

bokuto kōtarō is definitely not the smartest person you’ll meet, and akaashi keiji definitely has trouble handling his emotions.

but thankfully, being together makes up for these shortcomings of theirs.


End file.
